Raging Dad

Batgirl, pondering the weight of the world.

Without any prodding from me, the kids all decided to be superheroes for Halloween. Connie was Batgirl, Michael was Iron Man, and Sonny was Wolverine. It was awesome.

When I woke up Friday morning, I considered shaving off my mustache and shaping my beard into mutton chops. A little gel in the hair, and I could have gone as my own version of Wolvie. But, Raging Mom put the whammy on that plan, saying that I am a “professional,” or some nonsense like that. I was reminded of the time that my dad shaved his beard when I was a kid. He only did it once, because my sister and I were appalled by his clean-shaven appearance. Maybe sometime I’ll do something wild like that to see how the kids react.

Back to Halloween…

This year Raging Mom let me take the kids around the neighborhood while she stayed at the house to pass out candy. We walked up and down the blocks, the kids taking turns ringing doorbells and holding out there candy bags with glee. Their behavior was absolutely amazing. I have no snarky remarks to qualify that statement with. They were wonderful.

It was amazing how polite they were. At each house, when the door would open, a chorus of “Happy Halloween” rang out, followed by “Trick-or-treat!”—except for Michael, who insisted on calling out “Trick-or-treating!” They thanked each person at least twice, and left each homeowner with a huge smile as they turned to head back down the driveway.

Sonny with claws.

There was one bizarre incident that was notable. At one particular house, a nice looking fellow was passing out full-size candy bars to the kids. [Side note: what is with the full-size candy bars? Shit! Like my kids can handle an entire Milky Way? Are you trying to kill my kids?] After putting a candy bar in each of the kids’ bags, his eyes locked on Sonny, who had removed his Wolverine mask because it was bugging his neck. All of a sudden, he let out a gasp, and proclaimed Sonny to be the cutest child he’d ever seen. He took the candy bar back out of Sonny’s bag, and disappeared behind the door for a moment. When he re-emerged, he had a tray with three King Size Kit Kats, one of which he placed into Sonny’s bag. “You are the cutest, so you get a big candy!” he said, or something bizarre like that.

Sonny’s eyes grew wide, and they hurried down the driveway just like nothing strange had happened. Except for Connie, who believed that a miscarriage of justice had just occurred. “Why did Sonny get a big one, Dad?!” she asked, a bit upset.

I didn’t have a great answer, except that maybe the guy liked Sonny’s costume the best. Yeah, that sounds like a reason I can live with… Creepy! I think we’ll skip that joint next year.

Superfriends: Fighting crime, and keeping Raging Dad flush in smiles.

Creepy candy guy aside, it was a marvelous evening. I thanked Raging Mom for letting me do the honors of taking the ghouls on parade. I forget sometimes how much fun we can have when they are not screaming at each other, and I at them.

Song of the day: “New Monster Avenue,” The Mountain Goats.