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Connie's first love note.
On Friday, Connie came home and shared some news with us: a boy in her kindergarten class has a crush on her. And she had the documentation to prove it. A youngster named Glenn had professed his feelings for Connie by drawing the two of them together, with a heart suspended above their heads.
Jump back: Glenn? For real? Maybe his parents are huge Eagles fans. Interestingly, Glenn seems to have drawn himself with wings and vampire teeth, which I am hoping is not a sign that my daughter is cavorting with Nosferatu.
Sharpened cuspids notwithstanding, it did seem awfully sweet that he gave her the drawing. As we were talking about it at the dinner table, I teased whispered to Connie, “Is he your boyfriend?”
Without a moment of hesitation, her eyes rolled she gave me a sassy look that I didn’t expect to see for a few more years. In the flash of instant, she transformed before my eyes into a devilish tween. How does she know these things already?! Did Carl Jung overlooked an archetype, or has she picked this up from school kids already? There’s no way she learned an attitude from our quiet, calm home. Oh wait, that was my fantasy-side talking. Yeah, we’re pretty much hosed.
We’ll keep tabs on this Glenn fellow. I’m thinking of trying to tail the kid for a while to see if his reflection appears in mirrors, or if he is able to cross bodies of running water. As for his chances with Connie… Be careful what you wish for, little man. I’m not sure he’ll be able to handle my little girl!
Song of the day: “Witchy Woman,” The Eagles.
Filed under: growing up | Tagged: crushes, daughter, love notes
Dude. Glenn needs to go work on his game. He in NO WAY could turn your lil gal’s head.
When I was in the first grade a girl was obsessed with me and once cornered me at a friend’s house and stripped naked in front of me, then asked me to touch her. I ran out of the room, screaming.
NOW…while in hindsight it seems clear that poor little girl was probably being molested …I do wonder why this didn’t happen when I was like 21 and in my college dorm. I DEFINITELY could have dealt with a girl cornering me naked and asking me to touch her at that age! At five? Not so much. When my mom picked me up though she had bought me an ET doll so I was happy and forgot all about the nude girl.
Yup. ET doll…first grade…I totally gave out my age. Whatever!
You poor sap. You’ve got it all yet to come. I’m full-on dead-smack in the throes of a lot of this shit, and let me tell you: it. sucks. ass.
And yet there is also that, “OH, yeah, my kid’s GOT IT” factor, that weird parental pride that your kid is developing along the correct timeline and is (of course) beautiful and the fellows want to be her boyfriend.
It’s a weird one. I didn’t get this particular handout at the pre-parenting briefing. Did you?
Enjoy my life my friend, I’m not much father ahead of you and it gets worse with each year:)
Wait until she starts getting into cliques. I’ve always said I don’t hit girls, but I want to smack the crap out of the ‘popular girl’ in her class that thinks she can boss Gillian around.
Tho, from what I heard, Gilli dropped the hammer on little miss bitch on friday just so she knows she’s not going to be pushing my babygirl around
Switch schools. Immediately.
Move.
Dig a basement.
Set up a perimeter, and schedule 24hour watches.
Do you remember what we were thinking as little boys?
Time to pull out your “A” game, my friend.
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Good One!
All the best, Papa!
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