Raging Dad

I have a terrible memory. Raging Mom thinks it is because I don’t pay attention. She’s probably right. Wait a minute, what was this post about? Gotta focus…

You know that feeling, when you have driven a long distance, and when you reach your destination you have no memory of your trip there? Or when you are asked to do something by your lovely raging wife, and you nod your head and say, “Absolutely, I will get right on that,” and you really mean it, but then have no idea what it was you committed to doing? This happens to me a lot. I think it is more than not paying attention; I think it is a byproduct of having kids.

When the twins were born, I lost a significant amount of my rational brain power. Actually, I didn’t lose it, I just haven’t been able to find it for a while. Like, for almost four years. I have had fleeting moments where I feel like I can focus, and there has been the occasional stretch of a few months where I think I’ve got my mojo back. But it has gone dormant again.

My Raging Therapist thinks that I suffered from ADHD as child, and developed ways of masking my inattentiveness with passion, creativity and charm. I don’t think that suffering is the right word. I quite enjoyed my childhood, as crazy as it was. I did very well in school, but thinking back, I can now see that I had a knack for relying on humor and wit to mask my lack of preparedness. I suppose that continues to present day.

This is a short animated film created for The Sundance Channel featuring the poem “Forgetfulness,” by Billy Collins, former Poet Laureate for the United States. If you are like me, you will want to watch this again and again. It is haunting, and beautiful, and strangely comforting to me and my messy head.

Filed under: mental health | Tagged: ADHD, billy collins, memory, poetry, twins