Raging Dad

I was noticing that it has been a year since we instituted The Rules in the Raging Household, which was to be a pivotal tool in our ongoing quest to force order and gain submission from the little devils. The Rules were adopted with input from the children, but it was only for show. This is no democracy. Violation of any of The Rules was to result in a punishment no less than a timeout on the naughty stool. We gave up on the naughty stool, and it pretty much turned into timeouts in their rooms. Just to shake things up, for a short while, I tried telling them to “stand facing the wall, with no toys and NO FUN.” That just made Raging Mom laugh. I’m not sure we’ve had the most success with timeouts, and boy, we’ve certainly given them a try.

Connie was court reporter and scribe, upon adoption of The Rules one year ago, by the way. Raging Mom and I joked that perhaps we will need to get a Bart Simpson-style blackboard if The Rules weren’t working, and I am not so sure that it isn’t time to start shopping for chalk.

Now, a year later, The Rules need some updating. Number 7 just doesn’t quite cover it. Here are some candidates for new Rules:

- Stop talking so goddamn loud all the time.
- Wait until your pants are pulled up to hug me. Don’t get me wrong. You’re sweet, but come on.
- Stop telling people who you are only acquainted with that you love them. Again, sweet, but really.
- After sitting on the public restroom toilet and balancing with your hands, under no circumstances is it okay to grab my forearms.
- It is OK to put Raging Mom or Raging Dad in a timeout. Please, do it sometimes.
- Do not threaten to kill, shoot or light saber your sister or brother.
- Flush the toilet after pooping. (Raging Mom says this also applies to Raging Dad.)

Feel free to suggest additional rules in the comments.

Filed under: good parenting decisions, raging thoughts | Tagged: behavior, rules